Has
your marriage experienced any of these challenges?
- Infidelity
- Challenging in-law relationships
- History of trauma impacting your relationship
- Differences in parenting styles
- Feelings of disconnection
- Struggling to communicate and feel heard?
These are often troubling and challenging situations that arise in many couples. Through couples counseling, you and your partner can begin working towards reconciliation, healing, better communication, and rebuilding trust.
We Have Tried Couples Counseling Before, Why Should We Try Again?
Like most things in life, preferences, preparedness, and situations play a major role in the success of couples counseling. Couples counseling operates from the perspective of you, your partner, and your therapist collaborating to gain a complete understanding of your relationship. From there, you all identify the major areas of concern and begin working towards a better understanding yourselves and each other.
The benefits and outcomes of couples counseling are widespread and ultimately determined by you and your partner with the guidance and direction of your counselor. In some cases, couples therapy may not have been effective because individual counseling is needed due to family-of-origin difficulties, differences in beliefs or spiritual values, or a history of trauma that neither partner knew would impact the relationship. No matter your situation, blaming, shaming, and resenting your partner has likely not helped you feel any better, and it is more likely to have made things more difficult. By engaging in couples counseling, you and your partner have started down the path toward mending your relationship and creating the best future for you, your partner, and your family.
At Shiloh, our couples therapists are here to support you and your partner in beginning your couples counseling journey for the first or tenth time!
What if My Partner Does Not Want to Come?
This is an extremely common occurrence where one partner brings up therapy, and the other says, "Why, we are fine," "I don't see a problem," or "You're the one who thinks something is wrong; you go on your own." This can often discourage people from seeking couples counseling. And while it is true that your therapist cannot work with someone that they have never met, what starts as individual counseling often turns into couples counseling.
If you are in this situation, beginning individual therapy may be the starting point for couples therapy. No matter how perfect we think we are, we are still human and have flaws, which holds for couples therapy. One perspective to have when considering individual therapy as a precursor to couples therapy is that no person is completely innocent or guilty. This does not mean you should 'get even' because your partner did something hurtful. This means that both partners communicate, interact, frustrate one another, and contribute to the success and challenges of a relationship. By starting individual therapy with couples counseling goals in mind, improving your communication, emotional regulation, self-awareness, and learning more effective ways of interacting with your spouse, changes will likely arise.
At Shiloh, we are here to help you and your partner create a roadmap and direction for continued improvement, satisfaction, and overall happiness in your relationship.
Marriage Is Hard, Sometimes We Need a Little Help.
Marriage is a life-changing event that occurs every day all over the world. The honeymoon phase, all the firsts you experience as a married couple, and the luster of marriage cannot be compared to many things in life. However, after job changes, kids, and years or decades of being together, arguments and disagreements will likely occur at least once. The good news is that disagreements are completely normal, and every couple will experience them. Unfortunately, some arguments last a little, or a lot, longer than others and eventually influence what we do, how we interact, and how happy we feel in our relationship.
If your relationship seems tense and less connected, like arguments never end or you spend more time arguing than loving your partner, couples counseling may be the road to change. A relationship's challenges and struggles can have many negative consequences, none of which lend themselves to having a happy and meaningful relationship. When your relationship encounters these seemingly impossible challenges, do not give up. Couples counseling seeks to repair your relationship and create new ways of connecting and understanding your partner.
No matter your situation, our couples therapists at Shiloh will work with you to begin the path toward a love-filled marriage once again.