Has your family experienced any of these life situations?
- Welcomed a new child or aging parent into your home?
- Chose to adopt or foster a child?
- Moved schools, cities, or jobs?
- All your children moved out (also called empty nesting)?
- Reached the milestone of retirement?
- Gotten married or gone through a divorce?
If so, you have experienced one of the innumerable life transitions a person can experience, and if you have not experienced one yet, someday, you will. At Shiloh, we are here to walk with you as you adapt to your new circumstance and develop a positive and meaningful perspective of your new phase of life.
Why Do People Seek Therapy for Life Transitions?
While many life transitions are positive and mean that your family is growing or you have reached a major milestone, significant changes in our daily routines that have existed for years, and even decades, can be a challenge. As amazing as our brain is, sometimes, it can be stubborn and does not respond well to change, especially if we change something that has been consistent and held meaning to us, like have children and then realizing they have all moved out. When these major changes occur, our brain needs time to adjust and reacclimate to our new normal. Through therapy, you and your therapist can work together to celebrate the new changes as well as accept, and sometimes even mourn, the phase or part of our life that is no longer there.
What Transitions Are Okay to Bring into Therapy?
Here is some great news: All transitions can be brought into therapy! When these major life changes occur, our brain sometimes cannot tell the difference between moving from a full-time to part-time job and having your entire family move to a completely different state. All our brain knows is something changed and is unsure of what to do now, why the change happened, and what the change means.
When you seek therapy for life transitions, you and your therapist will work through any transition you may have experienced. This process can help you uncover any hidden emotions or thoughts about the transition that we are not fully aware of, develop a positive and impactful meaning to the change or transition, and begin growing into your new phase of life. Your therapist will work to identify any potential mental blocks, long-held beliefs, and prepare you to encounter new situations that you have likely never experienced before.
We Are Empty Nesters, Now What?
Empty nesting, something may parents look forward to, yet many are not fully prepared for it when the time comes.
When you first become empty nesters, it is not uncommon to experience grief and excitement. On one hand, your children have gotten married, moved off to college, or started a family of their own. This is an exciting time! But now when you go to your child’s room to talk with them, they are not there. When you were once used to hearing your children play, laugh, talk, and spend those random days and long nights talking with you, you now spend you evenings reading or watching TV with your partner. These two feelings and grief and excitement can lead to confusion, sadness, and an uncertainty about what you should feel or think.
Together, you and your therapist will work to understand, process, and navigate these new challenging times while developing an excitement and recognition of all the amazing things you did to prepare your children for life.
Why Is My Marriage Struggling When Our Children Moved Out?
This is another outcome of becoming empty nesters that couples are seldom prepared for. For the past 18, 25, or even 30 years, you have your partner have shared a singular purpose, which was to raise your children and give them the best chance for success and happiness. While the amazing things you have done as parents are major achievements and should be celebrated, one of the most important areas of your family is often neglected or put on the back burner for many, many years. Your marriage.
Yes, all that time raising kids, going to sports events, teaching them to drive, and worrying about them when they were 2-hours past curfew, you never stopped being married. Unfortunately, many couples feel that their children are more important than their marriage. Quite the contrary is true. Your marriage is one of the most important aspects of parenting and raising your children, but no one told you that. Now, you and your spouse argue, cannot get along, feel disconnected, and no longer have the intimate connection you once had. This is all too common, but you and your partner can rekindle your connection, love, and intimacy.
At Shiloh, we have worked with countless couples experiencing this phase of marriage and are here to support both of you. You and your therapist will work to develop skills, techniques, and strategies to get that spark back into your marriage and create a new perspective about how you can view this new and exciting phase of life.